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The current period signifies a ten-year milestone since the word “disappearing” entered the common lexicon. Back then, the idea that someone could suddenly stop all contact with a lover without explanation seemed like the height of indignity. Our innocence was charming. In the decade since, finding a significant other has only become more perplexing – an commonly unsuccessful exercise in humiliation that is increasingly defined by online lingo.

Generation Z, a generation who matured during a social isolation crisis, a male identity reckoning, and a widespread challenge on the freedoms of women and the queer community, faces a infinitely more complex landscape than their millennial forerunners could ever imagine. And so their dating lexicon has grown longer and more bizarre, with phrases like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” straining the limits of your sanity.

Below is a detailed glossary to the terms this generation is using to discuss romance, sex and the pursuit of both. To paraphrase one of the recent most popular online sayings, by the end of this list you’ll yearn to get back to a bygone era – because wherever that is, it is free from “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Genuineness – In the view of gen Z, dating’s ideal is showing up as your true, unvarnished self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Feathered friend test – A TikTok trend inspired by a methodology developed by relationship scientists, in which you mention something trivial – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and note whether your date's response is inquisitive or dismissive. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Independent partner – Gen Z’s answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend prioritizes herself while exuding enigma and self-sufficiency. (She might still have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Support test – This signifies choosing someone who helps you unprompted. If you entered a room, they would fetch a seat for you to take a load off.

Errand romance – A meet-up where two people connect while running errands, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how financially strained young adults do budget-friendly romance in a inflation-era world.

Melting down – Having a breakdown when you feel burdened by life. You can crash out over a crush or breakup, dumping all of your unreciprocated emotions.

The Letter D

Dink – Double income, no kids. Once a marker of 80s young urban professional excess, it refers to couples who opt out of parenthood to prioritize their own well-being. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Vulnerable signaling – The antithesis of playing it cool: utilizing communication, transparency and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Signals

• Warning signs – Personal habits signaling a potential partner is bad news. For instance calling their exes crazy, bad gratuity habits, a love of controversial director films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Green flags – These quirks confirm your choice to date a mate. For instance checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal screen time, owning a bed frame …
• Odd but harmless traits – These usually describe specific, largely benign quirks. Examples include being an keen ornithologist, still keeping a pen in their wallet, paying rent in physical money …

Freak matching – When you find someone who’s just as enthusiastic about films about the WWII or DVD collecting or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who loathes the same things or people that you do (nothing builds closeness faster than having a nemesis).

The Letter G

Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend is into.

Ghostlighting – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of silence.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, eager to please and loyal. The uncommon partner who is adored by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's opposite.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online subculture of men so obsessed with masturbation that they attempt extended sessions, intentionally delaying climax so they can go on as long as possible.

H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A phenomenon describing many women’s increasing pessimism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

High-value woman – An archetype championed by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and contentedly domestic, who seemingly has no aspirations of her own aside from pleasing her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to understand the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Ick factors – Random and frequently trivial repulsions that immediately shut down any feelings of interest.

“He would if he cared" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else get an incredibly thoughtful gesture.

J

Professions – These have not been this crucial in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ultimate catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in fields they perceive as being staffed by the more caring among us: nurses, teachers or therapists.

The Letter K

Making out – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has existed for 16 million years. But the days of locking lips may be limited since some Zoomers want fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic intimacy believable.

Light catfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {